I wish was better

I wish i wasn't so different. I feel im different then even other aspies and even special needs people. Like im not into drugs sex getting in trouble or even rated X jokes. But alot of these people in these chats are and alot of my friends special needs friends are like that too. It makes me feel alien. Should i just force myself to do that stuff so I am not so odd. Because is i continue the way I am I feel I won't even be liked by people who are "like" me. My friend gets mad when i bring this up and says i judge because she thinks I act like these people are bad and blah blah blah. I'm not like that. She doesn't get it. It's not them its me.... I want to find people who are closely like me...and closer to "normal" people. I wish my friend would just stop flipping out about all this and get i just have trouble with self esteme. I don't want to meet normal like aspies and all i rather hide from them and only meet people who are extremely like me. This has been depressing me for the last 2 years or so. I just wish i wasnt different i really hate who i am and I wish i was brave enough to change and fit in with the IRC aspie group or with people who are special needs and into sex jokes and such. Anyways I wish my friend would get me and stop thinking I'm judging.